


My Name is Kuroko

by bleuchees



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: AGH, Canon Compliant, Etymology, M/M, One Shot, That's right, it's just a short little cute idea that was in my head, kind of, pouring my heart out in the tags, somehow im nervous about posting this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 06:54:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10551950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleuchees/pseuds/bleuchees
Summary: Three brief segments exploring the meaning of Seijuro and Tetsuya's names as it relates to their sense of self...and a short fic about their feelings for each other.





	

 

征十郎：征 (subjugate; attack the rebellious)

My name is Seijuro. It carries the meaning of subjugation, because no one disobeys me. I am absolute.

A group of three is walking away. You’re going your way, and I’m going mine – that is how it should be. Your silhouettes make heart-warming picture when set against the dimming light of the sunset. On one side, a gangly boy with his arm slung over your shoulder. On the other, a petite girl that keeps making short but meaningful glances at you.

All the spaces by your side are already taken.

I turn away. It is the way it is – and that way is how it should be – and it should be that way because it is that way, in the world that I created.

If this were a mistake, then I would not have made it.

I walk towards my own home. It’s vast and grandiose. Halfway there, my driver will meet me. Halfway to your home, you will buy a popsicle for a dollar, and try to get another for free. You and I live in different worlds.

As expected, the driver pulls up. I climb in the car obediently. At my vast palace, the king awaits. Tonight, he will listen to my daily report, caution me against silly distractions, and send me to bed. I will give my report. I will think about you, and basketball, and all those other distractions. I will lie in bed, overheated underneath my blanket.

~~I want to touch you.~~

I will wake up in the morning, and look at the sky. It has a clarity that matches the very feel of you. Close up, the atmosphere is clear and invisible – far away, it is a striking blue. The thought of you stretches over me in the same consuming way that the sky swallows the world.

I open up my textbook after dinner. Tonight, I will start with World History. The professor says you learn history to avoid making the same mistakes. But I don’t mistakes, so it’s really a waste of time. This is all for the sake of leading my father’s company. That’s all.

There isn’t time or space for blue boys eating blue popsicles in this world. And even if there were, you would not want to be a part of it. I know this because I watch you. Every glance, and every gesture pointed my way. Each time, I decipher it for meaning, but there is none. There are no layers to your smile. There is no significance to your touch.

There are no feelings for me behind the tears in your eyes. You clutch at your final straw. The group falls apart. Shallow feelings of friendship dissipate. You and I were only ever strangers, tangentially connected in this one circumstance. You won’t be coming around here anymore.

I know this because I created it, and I am absolute.

 

哲也：哲 (philosophy, clarity)

My name is Tetsuya. It comes from the symbol for philosophy, or clarity. I like my name. It reflects my personality: I follow my own philosophy. That is what got me to this point.

I flex my hand, trying to preserve the impression that still lingers in it. Adrenaline is still rushing through my veins; I could do it now. Akashi is across the court. Now would be the time. I could do it now.

I’ve never felt so… on top of the world. Kagami pounds me on the back. The rest of the team is still jittery, ecstatic from the win we never believed could come.

The impression of Akashi’s hand is slowly fading. Everyone is putting their jackets on; slowly, the excitement is draining from the atmosphere. It’s now or never.

My stomach starts to flip-flop. Unbidden, my eyes follow his back as he addresses his team. I could call out to him now…

My philosophy has gotten me to this point. Try your hardest; as long as there’s even a tiny chance it could happen, you have to try. It could happen. He could say yes.

My hands are shaking. Everyone else is gradually calming down; my heart is pumping faster. If I could just get Akashi alone… now is the time. I imagine what it would look like: my voice trembling as I call out to him, pull him from the others. My face heating until it felt like it was on fire. Akashi’s shocked expression. Would he be disgusted? I allow myself to imagine the best possible of scenarios. Akashi looking pleased. Akashi looking relieved. He could say yes. _I like you._ I can say it. Now is the time. _Please go out with me._ Now.

Hyuga is saying something, but it sounds muddled to me. Seirin is slowly filing from the court… now is the time…

“Come on, Kuroko,” Kagami says gruffly.

I’m still looking at Akashi. I want him to look over, but he’s not. He’s talking to the others. They’re packing up. They’ll be gone soon. I open my mouth to call out, but there’s a knot in my throat. I’m too nervous to shout in front of everyone.

“Kuroko.”

I tear my eyes away from Akashi, and look back at Kagami. I got here by following my philosophy, but…

Philosophies are hard to follow.

Swallowing disappointment, I start to walk away. I feel hollowed out and deflated, crumpled in on myself. I tell myself it’s for the best. It could never have happened, anyways. The impression of Akashi’s hand has faded into nothing.

The back of my neck prickles. I whip around, meeting crimson eyes. I open my mouth again to say something – my heart feels like it’s seizing in my chest. Akashi is walking over. My face is already turning red.

 

黒子 (black child)

My name is Kuroko, meaning “black child.” I like to think of it as meaning someone who lives in darkness. It fits its owner. I live in the quiet outreaches of Japan most of the time.

I look up at the sky, blue with a stray cloud floating past.

I used to surround myself with the glaring lights of the city, the fabulous legends of striking figures that rise and fall in high tragedy. Now I live, content, in the domesticity of a more ordinary life. I am married, no children. Perhaps, in the future, though…

A floorboard creaks behind me.

“Watching the sky, again?” Tetsuya leans down to brush my cheek affectionately. The ring on his finger caught the sunlight momentarily. “I thought you had another competition soon. Usually you’re preparing at this time.”

I look down at the shogi set next to me, inscribed with my name: 黒子征十郎.

“I am not worried,” I say. Still, I begin to reset the board. Looking up at Tetsuya, I say, “Play me?”

Tetsuya affects a sigh, settling in across from me. I know he doesn’t mind. As sunlight lights up the air between us, my chest becomes warm. Tetsuya is resting his hand on his chin thoughtfully, already thinking of his first move. I know that I will win. This isn’t going to help with the competition coming up soon. But Tetsuya is cute when his brow furrows slightly, concentrating on the board.

Looking at the sky just can’t produce the same feeling.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Akashi [as a shogi player](http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/kurokonobasuke/images/e/ec/KnBCBibleSAkashi.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/180?cb=20130202000153). You can imagine that Kuroko [became a literature teacher](http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/kurokonobasuke/images/8/83/Kurokosensei.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/127?cb=20150704165428) if you wish.  
> It's very short, but I hope this fic was able to calm your heart just a little. Thanks for reading xx


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